also titled Sorry Mum for saying F#CK... lots
Don’t get me wrong childhood cancer sucks an untold hell but I refuse to #f*ckcancer and here’s why.
F*ck you is the last retort. It’s when you have no come back, are powerless, paralysed, spent and can’t think of a f*cking single solution, just angry reply. F*ck you is what you throw away when you’re done. When you’re throwing your hands up in surrender.
Cancer can f*ck me. I refuse to rest, I refuse to throw my hands up at him and give in. I will rage at him and every single time that f*cker throws me and mine to the ground I will get up, wipe away my tears, dust myself off and do something because surrender to this f*cker is not an option.
There is always something that you can do without throwing your hands and a hashtag in the air. Some ideas cost money, some ideas cost time, all of the ideas cost effort and require you to show up.
Below are two support structures: Support the child, support the family
Support the Child
When a child or teen with cancer is isolated at home or in hospital they are not necessarily (quite often not) isolated from visitors who are well. ASK if it’s OK to visit a sick child and actually do it as often as you can.
Sometimes the look of a child undergoing cancer treatment can be confronting. Rather than protecting yourself or your child from being uncomfortable seeing a friend sick try to approach the visit as a way to teach yourself or your child about difficulty and how to support that. Teach yourself or your child that being brave isn’t about NOT being afraid or challenged or uncomfortable; being brave is feeling all of those things and doing it anyway.
If you feel awkward visiting here are some ideas:
Make something ‘your thing’.
If you have a thing that is ‘your thing’ it makes visiting a delight for both you and the child.
If a child or teen with cancer is too sick for visitors, Facetime, send them texts and videos. STAY IN TOUCH. Social isolation as hard for some kids than some of their treatments.
Support for the Family
The moral of my soap box is that clicking like and share and compassionate comments collectively do provide support. They’re important for awareness and to cut through our isolation; we do need them and we do thank you. Did you feel there was a but coming?
If you want to do good deeds and make a significant difference in the life of a child with cancer it will take more time and effort than a hashtag and quite likely some confronting moments if you’re directly supporting a child or family.
The reward will be the opening of your life to great meaning and beauty. Standing aside a family fighting for a life in even in just the smallest way can make the most remarkable difference to both of your lives.
Visit some other blogs
Believing in Tomorrow: The 8 part series of 14 year old Tamlin's rare cancer diagnosis and treatment, in her own words
Our six year old daughters horrifically beautiful cancer diagnosis: how my own family's life opened up to great meaning and beauty during our daughters cancer diagnosis.
Eating Angry for Breakfast; you can't negotiate boundaries with a chid's illness so sometimes you just have to swallow your anger for breakfast.